I hate when you make plans with someone and they don't even realize it and then their boyfriend or husband is even more irrational than the arresting officers.
I hate when you make plans with someone and they don't even realize it and then their boyfriend or husband is even more irrational than the arresting officers.
Girlfriend: you pulled out right?
Me: are you in the right headspace to receive information tha
Tomorrow is "Post Your Favorite Pornhub Search As A Tweet" Day
I never matured past the ignore people you like phase.
“Is it safe to eat unrefrigerated Ewok meat?”
#SciFiWebMDSearches
me: “you know who's single?”
tessa: “um...me?”
shoutout to everybody here doing better than their ex
This echo was written in a special font that only sexy people can see.
Congratulations.
By the way, has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?
the entire reason I got spotify this year was so I could post my wrapped but now that I've learned I'm in the top 0.5% of listeners for the dixie chicks …🫣