I don't know what time it is in TX, but in the Great Lakes our clock says it's past Mike's bedtime. #NetflixFight

Sheldon got a tattoo.
Why can't he just be gay like everybody else?

I love how the 20 year olds at the checkout flirt with me.

I'm such a cougar.

Oneday I came home from work, I pulled into the driveway. There was a squirrel cracking nuts and feeding them to a starling.

As if he was trained. He just did it until the other starlings attacked him. He needed protection so somehow befriended my cat. The squirrel would come to the door and Diego would meow until I let him out. In the winter, the door is closed so Diego went to one of the bedrooms and meowed out the window until the squirrel showed up. Then he would jump out and they would go on their adventures.

The squirrel would start coming daily and even come in until Diego appeared and they would scamper off. ...read more

I knew it was my prerogative, when Bobby Brown thought it was his.

If H1N2v doesn't take you out, can i?


🥺
👉👈
🥾🥾 ...read more

Hackers are SO! FUCKING! ADORABLE!
Cyber-swinging on me, like I won't end your pathetic little life with one of your own "LOLZ".

Reddit and forgot about it immediately afterwards.

A BMW driver goes to a doctor for a physical examination. When he gets into the room, the driver strips for his exam. He has a dick the size of a little kid's little finger. A nurse standing in the room sees his little dick and tries to hide her snickering.

The driver gives her a stern look an says, "You shouldn't laugh, it's been swollen like this for TWO weeks now!" . ...read more

My spotify was hacked. Pardon me, but that is a very strange thing to hack.

Have any of you had ringing ears all day long? I don't even want to do a web search. I know it's probably bad, but how much?

I'm a black atheist, ask me questions

@actuallydaedae