JAY PRETLI: He spent good money to watch Donald Trump try to pronounce his last name.

JAY PRETLI: Yesterday, he fell for his own celebrity death-hoax.

JAY PRETLI: Doesn't just operate the laser pointer....

...he can catch it at the same time.

JAY PRETLI: Among his infinite capabilities, is the discipline to notice a camera pointed directly at him, without throwing up gang signs.

NOT NOW, DUMB-ASS!!
WE'RE ON THE PLANE!!!

JAY PRETLI: the MINORS buy HIM cigarettes.

JAY PRETLI: His appraisal value is so high, it's not a number, it's a sound.

My origin story involves a radioactive couch.

Never give up, not because you still have tomorrow to try, but because you may not have tomorrow to try.

JAY PRETLI: Elephants rely on HIM to remember things.

JAY PRETLI: He's that shelved project that your government doesn't want you to know about

JAY PRETLI: He only laughs numerically.