Stay in, light some candles, pour a glass of wine, and get in touch with your awfulness.

Treat yourself to some isolation.

Who would've thought that the collapse of civilization would have involved so many streaming services?

Remember those stupid fucking trophies?

THEM: Go to hell.

ME: Cool.

"Know but don't care" is the ultimate political slogan

You can always count on your friends and loved ones to be there to infuriate you.

May you never run out of things to be angry about.

If you aren't busy seeing faces in inanimate objects, what are you doing with your time?

If anyone is stopping by tonight, please bring food and some alcohol. Then get out.

Don't get all Posh Spice on me.

Sometimes I worry that my abs are going to become TOO chiseled