“This wasn't worth it.”
- thought bubble of people who show up to the Halloween party in extremely complicated costumes after about 10 minutes
There is no better way to experience a new city for one night than by never leaving your hotel room.
BUT HIS SON'S NEPHEW'S FRIEND'S MOTHER'S EMAILS!!!
Stop treating each other like people.
Treat each other like adorable baby animals.
If two celebrities with histories of breakups and cheating can't stay together, who can?
The people telling you not to get vaccinated are vaccinated. This gives away the game, no?
Movie Law:
In every biopic about a rock band, at the first performance, the singer's microphone has to not work and then it has to either turn on and produce a lot of feedback or turn on while the singer is cursing, and the drummer has to knock over at least a cymbal.
Beware sheep in even sheepier clothing.
Every day, another fond childhood memory reduced to unrecognizable sludge.
When you're trying to decide what to get to eat, and someone brings up pizza, there's really no turning back.
Predictive texts sucks at predicting