Just gave someone $50 to get the fuck away from me. Would have gone as high as $150. Sucker.
Just never make even the smallest mistake. I don't see what the big deal is.
Remember this conversation?:
THEM: The “Blair Witch” project is terrifying if you think it's real!
ME: Is it real?
THEM: No.
I have the best exercise equipment to hang laundry on.
Every guy's middle name should be Xavier.
If I could delete your tweets, I would.
Make Aqua's “Barbie Girl” your wedding slow dance.
No one has ever come up with a valid reason not to eat an entire pizza.
Opinion that should be popular:
“Bohemian Rhapsody” was a mediocre movie at best, and should not have won any awards. Imitating someone's Live Aid performance is a Tik Tok, not Oscar-worthy.
I'M ALL HOPPED UP ON TOASTER STRUDEL
“Here's a reminder as to why I am garbage.”
- garbage people, daily
Jurassic Breakfast Nook