I love all my followers, from the creepy to the creepy af.
You wouldn't believe the things people ask for at our golf club lubrication business, "Shaft Strokers."
The difference between a like and a retweet is the difference between “you” and “us.”
Try not to be the kale of people.
If I don't know you and you drive around my cul-de-sac, then we are automatically mortal enemies.
What if crazy threw a convention and everyone came?
Please send negative vibes to my enemies.
No movie title will ever be as honest as “Snakes on a Plane.”
Welcome to the era where being a complete dick always works in your favor.
The good news is, you can always worry more.
Negativity is just realistic positivity
“Are you out of your mind?!? Nobody talks to him that way! Do you have a death wish?”
- the lovable but dorky friend of the new kid after he talks trash to the popular bully who rules the school in an 80s movie