PUBLISHER: Listen, J.R.R., we love the book. Love it. But we have concerns with some of the character names…

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: Say no more. I already have the perfect name for the main character.

PUBLISHER: Let's hear it.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: Bilbo. ...read more

I cannot believe next week is Thanksgiving already

Just accidentally sent a Bitmoji of me with heart balloons to a business contact.

Now we wait...

Maybe the real Fight Club was the fights we had along the way.

As a friend, I will always have your back intermittently.

Have a great day (2-3 years from now)!

I wish she didn't work so hard, so I could say "More like LAZY Gaga."

And then we'd laugh and laugh. Oh, how we'd laugh...

Most squid are smarter than the people eating calamari.

Why will no one tell me to vote?

I will now put a song in your head:

I GET UP

If you give me non-Philadelphia cream cheese for my bagel, I will cut you.

What's the weirdest animal?

(platypus excluded)